rgearinger

Getting over a mental health relapse

I had my first major panic attack in several years. YEARS. I had deep-breathed my way through those years. I had maintained medication, moved to the city, and started grad school. Then it hit me. It hit me hard. It felt like a sign of complete and utter failure. A relapse. Square one. I feltContinue reading “Getting over a mental health relapse”

Children’s games

Children play a game where someone lives & someone dies. From inside it looks real. I never understood blaming the coyote for eating the cat or poisoning wasps or setting traps for fear Last night I caught a honeybee in a jar & watched it die. Poison for pleasure or maybe poison your pleasure. SomethingContinue reading “Children’s games”

truth and matter

Tonight I’m convinced
anyone could hold me.

Tips for naturally anxious people (and everyone, really)

I’ll admit, somewhat begrudgingly, I’m a naturally anxious person. It’s funny because most people wouldn’t guess that about me. Us anxious people can be good at hiding. I tend to attribute my anxious tendencies to my perfectionist nature. I tend to want to get everything right the first time. In my effort to achieve this, itContinue reading “Tips for naturally anxious people (and everyone, really)”

Letter to a pre-panic disorder self

It’s understandable to avoid what scares you. It’s easy to shy away from an unsettling thought, to say you’d rather not talk about it. For me, that sensitive topic is panic disorder. Thinking about the “P word” has a tendency to make my stomach curl and hold my breath hostage. Fear. Panic. The body respondsContinue reading “Letter to a pre-panic disorder self”